The Religion of Progressive Muslims

Fear Allah — “A tactic by religious authorities to scare the masses into obeying them and not questioning their authority.”

Be Modest, Dress Modestly — “Just something patriarchal imams invented to oppress women.”

Stay Away from Zina — “Prudery from the mullas who are afraid of sex.”

Pray Five Times Per Day — “A man-made ritual to control the masses.”

Do Not Consume Riba — “An arbitrary rule invented by mullas so they can control the economy.”

Fast in Ramadan — “Merely a suggestion. Only fundamentalists think fasting is about avoiding food and drink. Enlightened Muslims fast with their hearts.”

Only Islam is Accepted by God — “Nauseating tribalism and the worst kind of prejudice from simpletons.”

Make Hajj — “An elaborate ruse invented by Saudis to make money from the naive Muslims masses.”

Do Not Consume Intoxicants — “Merely a suggestion to avoid addiction. Social drinking, smoking, etc., is perfectly natural and unproblematic when done in moderation.”

Remember Allah — “Mind control program used to transform people into religious robots.”

Pray to be Saved from Hell — “No such thing. God is love.”

Pray to be Granted Heaven — “Life on Earth can be Heaven if you have the right mindset.”

Heed the Words of the Messenger ﷺ — “Hadith were fabricated. Besides, Islam is about worshiping God, not a man.”

Purify Your Heart — “What is this obsession with purity?”

Repent — “A tactic to make people feel guilty about living their lives as they see fit.”

Submit to Your Creator — “Another tool to get people to turn off their brains. Submission is a violent concept anyway. I have more of a buddy-buddy relationship with God.”