Have you always dreamed about being Unapologetically Muslim™?
Well, now, all your dreams are about to come true…
Just follow these easy steps and you’ll be well on your way to never having to apologize for anything ever again!
- Step 1: Wear hijab (or kufi).
- Step 2: Do whatever you would normally do*, just do it in a confident, no-nonsense way.
* (Don’t worry about whether what you are doing is Islamically ok. Being Unapologetically Muslim™ doesn’t mean you have to be ISIS, amirite?)
That’s it! You are now certified Unapologetically Muslim™!
Here are testimonials from some of our happy customers:
“I didn’t think it was possible, but thanks to this amazing Unapologetically Muslim™ guide, I was able to put on my hijab and confidently go to my high school prom. Now all my friends accept me for who I am!” ~Layla Rasheed
“Donald Trump said that Muslims are bad and that made me cry. Now I wear my hijab to prove that Trump is a loser and I am totally unapologetic about it!” ~Reyana Jones
“At first, I felt shy about going to the LGBT love fest mixer. Would I fit in? But then I remembered everything I learned about being Unapologetically Muslim™. Now I go to mixers every month to show how Muslims can be both unapologetic and celebrate gay sex!” ~Mishal Mahmoud
“Being Unapologetically Muslim™ means not letting anyone tell you that you’re not American enough just because you’re Muslim. There is nothing more Islamic than being a good American. It’s pretty much the 6th pillar of Islam, as my favorite imam reminds me at every Friday prayer.” ~Tarik Nabouli
“For me, being Unapologetically Muslim™ is more than just what you wear on your head. It is also about being decolonial and recognizing how structures of power create meaning and dialectic used to silence the subaltern. In short, what makes me Unapologetically Muslim™ is being vigilant in deconstructing hierarchies of power, i.e., simply regurgitating everything I learned in my Edward Said seminar in grad school or read from Talal Asad.” ~Yahya Wakil
“I don’t wear hijab, so I can’t really be your ‘conventional’ Unapologetic Muslim™ per se. But I do eat hummus and falafel very confidently without even the slightest whiff of apology, so that kind of makes me Unapologetically Muslim™ I guess.” ~Susan Elkotb
Is this a joke Haqiqatjou, cause I can’t tell.
Hello,
I am doing Masters from Germany (Dresden) it is a really stiff on the regulations against muslims. They hold rallies every Monday of 2000-3000 people, the organization is called PEGIDA ( Patriotic Europeans against Islamization of west ). I was not a practicing muslim, but i learned about deen with self realization and some events. There are other organizations which hold good values like anti racism and are basically helping us survive in that environment. I really want to help the community and change people’s views about this. My emaan is changes every single day. I want to change things around but i have still not figured out a way to change this. I am from India, i did my bachelors from Aligarh Muslim University In Civil Engineering. If there is some assistance regarding academics that will also help me increase my knowledge i would love to work. I too want to change the view they think about us.
Salam
Brother, just reminding you that lying is not permissible for joking.
Asalaamu alaikum brother, where did he lie? He’s being facetious by way of analogy to drive home a point. This is actually a valid and pertinent approach to toxic and un-islamic thought prevelant amongst our deviant muslims who will retort to any less witty rebukes dismissively. Our brother Daniel’s style drives irrefutable points directly into the nerve of these wayward souls. This is hikmat. Ma Sha Allah. Keep up the good work.
“LGBT love fest mixer.” ? Why good for you! truly anyone can be a Muslim now!
Ma sha Allah brother Daniel, very relevant and accurate points.
I’m currently “trying” to listen to Orientalism. When I listened to his introduction I knew getting the Audio book was a mistake when he started going on a rant about the virtues of Humanism. I want to know his arguments because they are useful to an extent in the field of Dawah and understanding systematic colonialism, but his academic elitism and his “Dawah” for humanism is ruining the book for me to be honest.
I’ll probably finish listening to it, just because I do want to know the political and Social history, but would I recommend it as a fundamentalist Muslim? No.