Have you always dreamed about being Unapologetically Muslim™?
Well, now, all your dreams are about to come true…
Just follow these easy steps and you’ll be well on your way to never having to apologize for anything ever again!
- Step 1: Wear hijab (or kufi).
- Step 2: Do whatever you would normally do*, just do it in a confident, no-nonsense way.
* (Don’t worry about whether what you are doing is Islamically ok. Being Unapologetically Muslim™ doesn’t mean you have to be ISIS, amirite?)
That’s it! You are now certified Unapologetically Muslim™!
Here are testimonials from some of our happy customers:
“I didn’t think it was possible, but thanks to this amazing Unapologetically Muslim™ guide, I was able to put on my hijab and confidently go to my high school prom. Now all my friends accept me for who I am!” ~Layla Rasheed
“Donald Trump said that Muslims are bad and that made me cry. Now I wear my hijab to prove that Trump is a loser and I am totally unapologetic about it!” ~Reyana Jones
“At first, I felt shy about going to the LGBT love fest mixer. Would I fit in? But then I remembered everything I learned about being Unapologetically Muslim™. Now I go to mixers every month to show how Muslims can be both unapologetic and celebrate gay sex!” ~Mishal Mahmoud
“Being Unapologetically Muslim™ means not letting anyone tell you that you’re not American enough just because you’re Muslim. There is nothing more Islamic than being a good American. It’s pretty much the 6th pillar of Islam, as my favorite imam reminds me at every Friday prayer.” ~Tarik Nabouli
“For me, being Unapologetically Muslim™ is more than just what you wear on your head. It is also about being decolonial and recognizing how structures of power create meaning and dialectic used to silence the subaltern. In short, what makes me Unapologetically Muslim™ is being vigilant in deconstructing hierarchies of power, i.e., simply regurgitating everything I learned in my Edward Said seminar in grad school or read from Talal Asad.” ~Yahya Wakil
“I don’t wear hijab, so I can’t really be your ‘conventional’ Unapologetic Muslim™ per se. But I do eat hummus and falafel very confidently without even the slightest whiff of apology, so that kind of makes me Unapologetically Muslim™ I guess.” ~Susan Elkotb