Ladies, we need to detox.
We need to unlearn the toxic and damaging messages we’ve been programmed to believe by feminism. Here is the truth that we need to replace the lies with:
1. Men and women are not natural enemies. We are أولياء (awliyaa’) for one another.
2. You are a woman, not a man. This is not an insult.
3. Your femininity is your power. Don’t smother it.
4. Masculine men like feminine women. Feminine women like masculine men. Don’t be androgynous.
5. You need a man. (Just as men need women.)
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6. Men are not trash.
7. You cannot do everything a man can do. (And neither can a man do everything a woman can do.)
8. Men and women have very different, but complementary, roles. This is a good thing. It’s called gender roles.
9. Do not be a modern woman of the “strong, independent” variety. Be a traditional woman.
10. Men and women don’t need to compete with one another. We complete one another.
11. Marriage is important. The family is important.
12. Being a homemaker is an amazing and important job.
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13. Motherhood is important. Raising children is not just crucial work, but also incredibly empowering. You are molding the next generation of humans. What more power do you want?
14. Don’t choose a career over a family. Choose to be a wife and mother over being a corporate slave.
15. Show your husband respect and love, in that order. (He will show you love and respect, in that order.)
16. As a wife, you are not in charge. Neither are you your husband’s “partner.” You certainly give your input, but your husband has a headship.
17. Marriage is not a 50-50 egalitarian partnership of two leaders. Your husband is the leader. Sit back and enjoy it.
18. Having contempt for your man is the fastest way to break down a relationship. Don’t sabotage your own marriage.
19. Trust your husband (if he is an upright, strong Muslim who has taqwa). He’s not out to get you.
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20. The patriarchy is not the root of all evil. The Islamic paradigm places the man as قوام, qawwam, and مسؤول, responsible or held accountable, on the level of nation, society, and family. This is not to harm women, but to benefit and protect them.
Don’t follow the “advice” of feminists on love, men, relationships, marriage, family, motherhood, or really anything. You will be sacrificing your own happiness and serenity. And it’s all lies.
MA shaa Allaah
Masha Allah I love this write up I agree with everything
I’m so much inspired by this post so many Muslim need to hear this bitter truth…ummu Khalid your doing a great job may Allah reward you and the entirely Muslim skeptical members,I’ll surely wanted to share this in Sha Allah
I gone through your elaboration. Nicely captured all the relevant points. Honestly speaking, I love your write up. But one thing I would like to mention (which was knocking my process of thought and might be others), could we put the example of Khadija bint Khuwaylid, how she laid her business successfully, a leader of Quraish and wife of Prophet Muhammad SAW at the same time. This is just a one example. I hope you could be able to get where I am pointing.
“17. Marriage is not a 50-50 egalitarian partnership of two leaders. Your husband is the leader. Sit back and enjoy it.”Indeed. The 50-50 thing really doesn’t even exist in reality…it only exists (and sounds nice) in theory. People who claim this are in a relationship lead by the woman. Women inadvertently lose respect for a man they can lead – and dominate. The relationship will devolve into a mother-son dynamic. Quite frankly they are disgusted at worst and feel pity (in case sickness caused the situation) at best voor these type of men. Neither are good. How she behave’s in this situation will largely be determined by social expectations and personal integrity – both are severely lacking within a western context. Once she’s in the driver’s seat she’ll be perpetually frustrated and dissatisfied. This will kill her libido…which results in the husband being frustrated and dissatisfied. And the end of the relationship is nigh. Succesfull relationships are based on well defined gender roles and large gender polarity. It’s the exact opposite of the androgynous agenda the West is promoting right now. If you want to be succesfull in this regard do the exact opposite of what western popular culture says you should be doing.
Amazing Thanks for the article.Very good points ma sh Allah.
Today, there are two types of feminists, the extreme woke intersectional liberal feminists (who are not different than the typical woke people), and the less extreme radical feminists (also known as “terfs”). The biggest difference between these two is how they define man and woman, the libfems define man and woman as identities not related to sex, ie a man who identifies as a woman is a woman, and the radfems define man and woman by biological sex, ie the real definition of man and woman.Now days, the woke people have turned against the radfems or anyone who questions the idea of a man who identifies as a woman being a woman, and have gone hard against them, banning them from their platforms, and calling what they do as “hate speech”, they have gone completely mad.While not nuts like the woke, the radfems still have lots of problems, besides point number 2, all the points in this article still refers to them. They acknowledge that men and women are different, usually referring to male aggression, but they say that the way a female acts on society is due to “female socialization”. It seems to me they are denying woman’s nature as “socialization” but acknowledging a man nature as not due to socialization, there seems to be double standard here.Also of note, is that they do have some good points, for example, they promote female only spaces, are against prostitution and sex work, are against pornography, while the woke are against female only spaces and pro sex work and pro pornography. Still, they have all these bad ideas, like promotion of homosexuality and the stuff the list mentions.It seems to me, that these radfems are a stepping stone to this woke madness, the ideas they have are like less extreme versions of the woke libfems.Even though they have bad ideas, I have to give them credit of exposing of these bad ideas that the trans activists do and they have exposed many problems that these trans activists have done and promote.
I forgot one more thing, the radfems are very pro abortion. One strange thing is that they mention female infanticide being bad, yet many of these female babies are killed by abortion, which they strongly support. So this seems to be a contradiction they have.
This reminds me of something that happened in my Ethics class full of med students, most of whom are braindead feminists. The lecturer asked what our opinion was of abortion. And immediately my classmates started screeching about how it’s totally morally okay, and the whole my body my choice thing. Then she asked what we thought of aborting a female baby. Then ensued confused murmurs, with most of them vehemently condemning it. You’d think they’d value intellectual consistency, but when you want to be woke I suppose your only concern is holding the most recent popular opinion.
We are fed with so much of feminism that reading this article feels so difficult to digest. Even though I agree, I can’t even share it with my close ones because then I will be ridiculed badly .
I’m sorry you live in such a environment, I hope the situation gets better for you…but more importantly..their thoughts about don’t matter, what God almighty wants is what matters and I’m glad you agree… You’re strong.
Assalamu alaikum. This is one of my favourite write ups so far. A request/recommendation is to make these into infographics. I’d love to share them on Instagram for example.JAK for putting these articles out there, very grateful that the Muslims Skeptic team is so vocal about things that I wish I was brave enough to say out loud!
Hello.
This article resonated with me immensely, sister. As a Muslim woman, I naturally agree with everything you said but I worry I won’t be able to find a good Muslim man to marry; a lot of men (not all) seem to mistake aggression for masculinity and withhold kindness because they fear it will make them look weak. Some also stop doing nice things for their wives after marriage and take them for granted. How am I supposed to fulfil my traditional role if he won’t fulfil his?