Ladies, aspire to be a good housewife and a good mother.
Aspire to be a feminine, womanly wife who is supportive of and submissive to her husband.
Aspire to cook well, run a smooth household, bear and raise and nurture children lovingly.
Aspire to be a woman of good character, good judgment, and good manners.
Aspire to be devoted entirely to your husband and dedicated wholly to your home and family.
Aspire to be a sincere, devout slave of Allah who is marrying with good niyya: following the sunnah, seeking ajr, and hoping for Jannah.
Do NOT aspire to be a driven careerist woman.
Do NOT aspire to be a competitive academic.
Do NOT aspire to be independent or well-traveled or a leader of men.
I know that everything I say above is going to outrage some people and trigger a barrage of condescending comments talking about “And you went to Harvard??!!?”
But this, quite frankly, is what almost all men want from a wife and what almost all women want to truly be happy.
Human nature doesn’t change much, even if culture shifts dramatically.
These are the basic truths that our grandmothers and their mothers knew. This is the old-school common sense.
Men make money and women make the home.
Men are providers and protectors, and women are nurturers and beautifiers.
Men go out and earn; women stay home and hold down the fort. Both are work.
Softness and beauty are admired; gentleness and fragility are protected.
The forte of men is in physical strength, and the forte of women is in emotional strength.
Men like feminine women and women like masculine men.
Men are men and women are women.
It’s not complicated.
But we modern “liberated, independent, and empowered” women have walked away from our mothers’ astute wisdom, at our own expense and to our own misery.
We’ve fallen hard for the education trap, the careerist trap, the equality trap. I’m not saying you can’t touch these things ever; I’m saying don’t allow these things to be your focus.
A hyper-focus on decades of higher education or career at the expense of marriage will rob you of the best and most fertile years of your life.
In her heart of hearts, way deep down, almost every woman wants to be married. She longs to be in a committed and stable relationship with a strong, masculine man who shows her love and takes care of her and has taqwa of Allah. She wants the joy of cuddling her children and the warmth of a happy home.
Of course we don’t always get what we want in life — but it’s important to know what to aspire to.
If we have all the wrong aspirations based on a flawed and incoherent value system, then how do we even stand a shot at true happiness?