I came across this article the other day. It attempts to link the recent events in Iran to worldwide religious oppression by men:

Read it if you will, but since it’s basically a feminist’s manifesto in relation to the events in Iran, you can probably easily guess its contents.

This is her core “point”:

“…if religious fundamentalism in Iran and everywhere else continues to prevail, women and girls will never be truly liberated.”

And here’s my question to her and the rest of the feminists:

What exactly do you want to be liberated from?

In a lot of cases, I think what oppresses women is two-fold: the expectations placed upon them by feminism (to essentially be a man); and the same human condition that affects both sexes. A lot of the time the greatest hindrance to ourselves is us ourselves—by being lazy, by not speaking up when we should have, by being a perfectionist, by not trying hard enough, by not controlling our anger…and all that is in between.

A lot of the problems we have and experience are not due to how others perceive us; but rather because of how we perceive ourselves, our behavior in relation to ourselves, and our expectations for ourselves.

Obviously we are in no way denying that there are always unfortunately people who are simply innocent victims too. No one here is blaming rape victims for the actions of the perpetrators. This is not an exercise in gas lighting.

What I am addressing here is specifically the quotidian, the mundane. The reason being that there is a general argument from feminists claiming their daily lives have been rendered more difficult because of men and the rules that they impose upon women.

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I’ve met quite a few wives, for example, who were absolutely convinced their husbands were the reason they were stuck and dissatisfied with their lives. They saw their husbands as fitting a lot of the stereotypes that feminists have of men, only to later discover that when they changed their own behavior and were also more compassionate towards their husbands, their husbands ended up becoming their heroes.

The author in question has taken this portrayal of men as oppressors and amplified it to assert that men harness religion to expressly create rules for the purpose of oppressing women. This is unfortunate for a number of reasons. She denies Allah’s role as the originator of faith; she causes more confusion among women who, while searching for answers to their problems, come to believe that men are their primary problem. Consequently this completely blocks off any opportunity for actual introspection.

Fear of Losing Control

Perhaps this author, coming from eastern Europe, is most familiar with the Catholic Church and its man-made laws (and it seems safe to assume that she’s most likely an atheist). Nonetheless, she overlooks the fact that for Muslims, we believe Allah made our laws.

So not only does the author grant men a certain level of authority that they simply don’t possess (in Islam, they don’t create the rules), she completely denies Allah’s role in the order that He has established. And through all of this, she overlooks the very purpose of His established order.

I bring this up because I believe there is a very serious internal struggle at the heart of this supposed struggle against oppression.

A central point of this author’s article relates to men supposedly controlling women through religion:

“Religion is a mere tool and an excuse used to control society—especially women—for the benefit of a handful of men.”

This is a standard atheist perspective, and it barely deserves any attention because it is so extremely divorced from reality. They try to make it seem as though religious law allows men to do whatever they please.

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But this point about control is a reason why atheism and feminism go well together.

I once met a woman who discussed religion with me at-length; she was particularly interested in my embracing of Islam. We discussed various aspects of the religion, and it was clear that what bothered her was how women must dress and behave in Islam. I tried to explain and noted as usual that Allah asks this of us for specific reasons. Then came the words that made it all clear to me.

She said—and I’m paraphrasing here from my memory:

“I will not be controlled by anyone.”

It seemed to me like she was far too focused on her fear of being controlled rather than assessing whether or not there was inherent value in the behaviors being demanded. I feel there was also a lack of gratefulness. Allah provides us all with so much rizq, so much that we’re barely grateful for, that it seems reasonable to do the things He asks of us. When we do obey Him, we usually come to understand their benefits, which are for both men and women.

Feminism has smothered these benefits, demanding equal treatment of the sexes, with a complete and utter disregard for their differences. This is made even more unfortunate because this ideology is imparted onto girls from a fairly young age, making them unknowing victims to it and ultimately harming their relationships later on in life.

The feminist author who wrote the article would likely agree with this woman. She writes:

“And no, I will never respect any belief system that doesn’t respect me back. That claims women must be modest to be respected or worthy…”

This is as sad as it is confusing. Is respect not something that is gained and not demanded? What exactly is so wrong with modesty? Since when have men and women been able to do whatever they want and been granted unconditional respect?

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It seems that feminists have strayed so far from basic common sense that they now live in some kind of alternate reality based on their contradictory expectations for people.

The Effects on All of Us

That this misunderstanding and lack of introspection has caused such animosity toward religion and Islam in particular is truly a shame. Ultimately it’s their loss, but Muslims end up suffering because of it too since they have to figure out a way to navigate all domains and raise children in this anything-goes world.

Feminists seem to want preferential treatment because they are women, yet what is confounding is that when they receive this, it doesn’t make them happy. Many men go out of their way to be kind to women simply because they are women. They hold doors for them, protect them, etc., solely because they are women. But this is something that often frustrates feminists.

For some reason, this preferential treatment is rejected by feminists for simultaneously being too much and never enough. When such ideas are inserted into a marriage, it causes a great deal of harm.

Feminism tells women they deserve everything and owe nothing. Such a mindset breeds entitlement, ungratefulness, and ‘dissatisfaction.’ They become unpleasable. This is completely toxic for a marriage. If the wife feels overly entitled and is ungrateful and always unsatisfied, the husband will understandably stop trying to please her. You can fill in the blanks yourself regarding the rest of the story of a couple’s marital demise. Oftentimes it was over something that was entirely avoidable.

Conclusion

Taking a step back from the trite tropes of the media—both corporate and social—and taking time to reflect upon ourselves, our behavior, our goals, what we’re practically doing to achieve these goals…I think this is something that would do us all some good.

Here’s my plea to the author who is convinced that women need to be liberated from religious fundamentalism…from being a ‘baby-making machine’…from everything. Take a step back for a moment and reflect. Think about the ramifications of building a society in the way you haphazardly propose through your feminist diatribes.

For anyone who would say this is just a Kool-aid-drinking religious person, there’s a growing number of women—who do not even speak from a particularly religious perspective—that are rejecting feminism in one way or another. Here are two examples.

If feminists sincerely reflected on what they felt was holding them back, a great deal of it would have to do with their own approaches and analyses of situations. Not the patriarchy.

I think the question of what exactly they wish to be liberated from could potentially inspire some much-needed self-reflection. Realistically however, asking for feminists to take some time to reflect on this is likely asking too much from them.

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