If you were a teenager during the 2000s, you may recall how, in the last few years of the decade, Prince Harry was considered by many right-wing Westerners to be what some would describe today as “based.”
After all, he was a royal prince that was caught on camera using racial slurs. He was also deployed in Afghanistan, where he was killing “Taliban” by co-piloting an Apache helicopter, an experience which he compared to a video-game (in his memoir, released a few days ago, he also described his victims as “chess pieces“).
Prince Harry was always going to be a darling of the wider society, but right-wing Westerners had finally found their potential “warrior-king,” one who also seemed to be unapologetically racist.
We could argue that “fighting” some sandal-clad insurgents with old AK-47s from way up in the air is not exactly the epitome of military virility; or how the victims were not always actual insurgents but just regular, non-combatant civilians that were going about living their lives (though even the average Afghan, due to their values alone, is considered by the liberal world order to be an existential threat).
But the right-wing Westerners should have deeper and more fundamental problems with the premises behind the actual war. After all, it was liberal imperialism wedded with feminist rhetoric that he was fighting for. Prince Harry wasn’t waging war for traditional values. He was waging war for precisely everything that right-wing Westerners despise.
Prince Harry’s mother, Princess Diana (who continues to enjoy an aura of celebrity status years after her death) was herself a crypto-feminist. She was applauded for her outspoken views and the fact that she pursued divorce when Prince Charles was caught having an extramarital affair with Camilla. Both the public and the press applauded her as the “courageous lady” who escaped from a dysfunctional relationship rather than suffering like a “traditional” woman, as is expected for royalty.
Prince Harry, as the son of his mother, went to war against Afghan-Muslim peasants, and he became some sort of feminist prince. This is due to the fact that the war was explicitly for the purpose of imposing liberalism and feminism, something right-wing Westerners had no problem with since the targets were Muslims, particularly Muslim men.
But then, in May, 2018, he married Meghan Markle, an American actress that he began dating two years earlier.
Their problem with Meghan was not only her race (she’s of mixed ancestry) but also the fact that she’s a feminist. This rendered Prince Harry into a simp (a slang term for a man who is submissive to women to a fault), especially because he was going along with everything that Meghan—who was perceived as a “girlboss” due to her acting roles—wanted, even when this meant going against the entirety of the royal family.
In fact, Prince Harry has become the internet’s archetypal simp. There are dozens of articles, YouTube videos, forum posts, etc., dedicated to his simping.
But for a lot of men and (some women) online—particularly conservative ones—Harry’s decision to do so wasn’t actually a choice at all. They think it was all Markle. And because Harry supposedly acquiesced to that, instead of holding firm, he becomes the worst thing a man can be: a simp.
Harry was a sucker who chose a woman over a family, a woman over money, a woman over royalty. And all the right-wing pundits online wanted you to know they would have done it differently. Been more manly about it, that is.
Gina Bontempo, a health coach and the manager of far-right pundit Candace Owen, declared “Simp Harry” was a cautionary tale for young men everywhere.
Other wondered if perhaps he was the biggest simp of “all time.”
It is thus no wonder that the liberal media applauded Prince Harry’s display of “fragile masculinity,” something all men should supposedly emulate. See for example the following from a recent CNN article:
Prince Harry comes from a long line of military men who took pride in adopting a stiff upper lip attitude and getting on with the job. That was an image that his grandfather, Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, was particularly keen to present for himself as he continued royal duties well into his mid-90s.
Viewed through this prism, complaining is considered feminine and weak. Harry has alluded to this himself by making a distinction between “Institutional Harry” and “Husband Harry” – the latter of whom is more emotional.
Outside of the royal institution, there has been a cultural shift towards encouraging men to talk about their feelings and mental health. “Spare” takes us through Prince’s process of doing just that. And after examining some of the ways growing up in the royal institution damaged him, with the help of a therapist, it seems like he prefers “Husband Harry” to “Institutional Harry.”
Isn’t the irony simply wonderful? Prince Harry proudly participated in a liberal-feminist war against a Muslim population that had done absolutely nothing to the UK, then he finds a feminist partner and ends up becoming the simp of all simps.
The very right-wing Westerners who were applauding him for being racist against Muslims and for killing them in their own lands—I mean, why would you even want to bother Muslims who choose to remain in their own countries when you’re constantly complaining about immigration?—are now seething because their prince charming has gone and become the king simp.
I guess we could say it’s all pretty well-deserved. The same rhetoric that right-wing Westerners were mobilizing against Muslims during the 2000s has, from the mid-2010s onward, been directed at them (now, wokes say about the “straight white cis man” exactly what they used to say about Muslim man back then).
It also demonstrates the shallowness of their ideology and lack of principles. They’d worship anyone that stands against Muslims, even if that person is not ideologically sound.
And such superficiality can be seen on the cover of Prince Harry’s recently-released memoir, Spare. The title is minimalist. The font used is rudimentary. And the empty gaze of the king of simps makes it seem like he’s contemplating about all of the mistakes he’s made in his life, with no hope of having any real purpose.
Slaves deserve their king, and right-wing Westerners deserve Prince Harry.
But the average Afghan-Muslim man, who was the victim of raids, drone strikes, and Prince Harry’s Apache helicopter—actions applauded by the Western right-wingers back then—certainly hasn’t transformed into any kind of simp for some feminist “girlboss.”